In 7 short days the wild unwrapping will commence.
My children will manage to mangle in 2.4 seconds what has taken me (because my darling husband has't mastered the art of wrapping) 10 days and 60 woman hours to wrap and assemble. There's a bike to put together, toys to buy, things to sneak into the house, and of course the visit to the pet store because "Santa loves pets too" not to mention the stuffing of the stockings. True the cats aren't my favorite. Especially my youngest daughter's favorite cat, Kelly. She has a human name, our dear friend Toddicus ( www.toddicus.com ) loves the fact that our cat's name is so odd, but it was Juliana's choice. It was either Kelly or "cake" - I admit I
As much as I love this holiday for my kids, I admit I'm not incredibly excited about it for myself... it's been a hard year for my family and it's kind of hard to look forward to the festivities this year. My uncle's passing has been harder than I imagined it would have been. For all intents and purposes he, along with my grandfather were all I had as a father. I'm thankful I married a man who is an incredible father. The loss of my uncle so quickly - damn cancer... and the virtual loss of my grandfather has left a black shadow on the holiday for me. Had I known last year was going to be THE last year... I just wonder what I would have done differently, what I would have said. I remember standing outside with my uncle talking about Florida and what route I should take back home - he says to go through Atlanta instead of around it because everyone goes around it so coming home I did and I suspect I always will. When I was home during the summer I kissed my grandpa and said I love you and those are the last words we ever said to eachother. He's here physically but three strokes just a month before my uncle passed, has in truth made much communication unrealistic. Last week, my great-aunt (my grandpa's sister) passed away. When we were kids we would go to my grandpa's summer home in Mexico and play with our cousins, my great-aunt, Ana would make us treats - our older cousins would help us torture our younger cousins. She would teach us a few things here and there - first time I saw where chicken really came from... it's hard, knowing what's gone. But also makes us that much more thankful for what we do still have with us. So as hard as this holiday is to get into, I suspect it will become easier in time. I'm thankful I had the opportunity to speak at my uncle's funeral. My cousins thanked me, people said it was beautiful, but really, it was my last chance to say what I wanted to to my uncle, an incredible giant of a man with an even bigger heart, and I'm glad to have known him. Someday, I'll just wake up and it won't hurt as much. The joy will come back, little by little, and one day I won't get that hard knot in my throat when thinking about those who are gone. I'll smile and be thankful for having known them.
